The NGH Report

Hey there, gang.

Back again! But, now, with an official home for The NGH Report and the rest of my American Idol musings; not to mention a kickin' awesome place to get high kicks delivered to the home of the mouth, nose, and eyes… That's right, the friggin face.

 Rocking sweet time. I encourage you all to flock here and have some fun with me. Post comments and make fun of each other. Because you know I'll be making fun of you… and me. But, hopefully, mostly you.

 4. The "Aww…That Person's Not As Bad As We Thought" Threads – There is usually one contestant EVERYONE hates, and the longer this person stays in the show, the more violent and disturbing comments get about how AWFUL this person is, and how FAKE and this person isn't even human, but more likely, is a MONSTER. And then… once they're voted off… AWWWW, they're actually really sweet! I feel bad for saying that I think she should lose her head in a not so tragic accident involving a weed whacker… *fake boohoo* 

 3. The "Official Fan Threads of Contestants WHO NEVER MADE IT TO THE FINALS" Threads – Why is the Will/Gedeon/Ayla/EVERYONE who got voted off before the Top 12 constantly on the front page of Forums? It's a living reminder of disappointment? How sad do you feel when the only remnant of your favorite is 300 posts on how if Will Makar had ONLY WORN A BRIGHTER SHIRT HE WOULD HAVE MADE IT!!! Or, well, Ayla is doing JUUUUUST fine without the show. The season hasn't ended yet! Do we need constant reminders of what Gedeon has been doing for the past couple of weeks?

 2. The "Who Would be the CUTEST Couple" Threads – Uggggggh. No effin way. Really? Do you really want to know who Chris would make the cutest couple with? HIS WIFE. All this thread does is promote the fact that maybe Taylor isn't as good looking as Ace. And, I hope you all feel bad when you realize that the only people EVER right in this forum are the ones who claim that David and Kellie made the cutest couple. Because, it's true. Man… that Dellie combination is dreamy. Ahhhh. That was a sigh; not a scream. Screams come later. And with exclamation marks.

 1. The "I'm SOOOOO FUNNY" Threads – These are threads written by "jokers" out there who love watching American Idol and review it and laugh about it, but all they are really doing is throwing their lame metaphors, comments, and snide remarks into an already clogged forum that could really do without their comments on the funniest and silliest threads in existence; and that my friends, is a reason why were are ALL idiots.

 Till Tuesday,

 NGH